Saturday, January 23, 2010

Top 5 Soundtracks this ain't

This is a parody of the original article by Isabel Farrell that can be found here.



For as long as I can remember, Izzy has been a fanatic for instrumental music. As a result, much of her music library (with the exception of every f***ing U2 album ever made) has consisted of the soundtracks to various movies and video games. By listening to these, she has not only fed her love of instrumental music, but also failed to appreciate the significant role bad music plays in making a terrible movie/video game what it is. With this, she decided to make a quick list of her top 5 favorite soundtracks, and I decided to parody it. All of these are movie or video game specific, and none of them cover an entire game series or composer. Here we go!



NUMBER 5: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters Colon the Soundtrack (Various)

No, I am not choosing this just because I am a huge fan of MC Chris, nor because I adored this movie. I chose this soundtrack because as a collection of crappy music it is simply awesome. As a movie score, it so effectively captured the emotions and tones of the film that all you have to do it listen to it and have the movie play over again in your mind. What is most unique about it, however, is that unlike every other animated film score, this one makes very little use of actual music (we don't hear such until the end robot's song), instead creating an obtuse, unique feel for an all-new, unique ATHF film.



NUMBER 4: The Best Of Bond... James Bond 007 (Various)

I think everyone will agree that Goldeneye was an awesome film, and so was its soundtrack. It so perfectly complimented and accentuated the tone and visuals of the film that I can't imagine it being the same without it. Movies aside, the music is masterfully arranged and executed; a compelling mixture of full orchestra and Tina Turner, this soundtrack will golden your eye for sure.



NUMBER 3: A Night At The Roxbury (Various)

I know this movie just came out over a decade ago, but never have I gone and seen a movie on dvd then immediately gone home and waited eight years to order the soundtrack. While the movie was very entertaining, the soundtrack made it for me. I was honestly more taken with the music than the movie itself. I have always been a big fan of cheesy techno (used in movies like.. um, ... and... among MANY others), and it blew me away in this soundtrack. It has a completely generic sound compared to other works of the decade, masterfully utilizing period instruments to create an authentic feel for the setting of A Night At The Roxbury. The mix of old and new makes this soundtrack dynamic, fun, and a must-hear. It is, Will Farrell, the last time we ever want to see you dance!



NUMBER 2: The Pick Of Destiny (Tenacious D)

Simply put, Jack Black is the bad/funny/rock movie music God. School of Rock, this one, something else, need I say more? I couldn't possibly pick just one of this movie's songs and say it was my favorite. They are all captivating, exciting, memorable, and have come to define the very tone and feel of this classic movie. The songs of Jack Black and that Kyle guy add a special something to the heart and soul of their movies, and are masterful accomplishments of musical excellence in and of themselves. This 1 disc compilation is a must-have for anyone who enjoys or appreciates terrible music.



NUMBER 1: World of Warcraft: Taverns of Azeroth (Original Game Soundtrack) (David Arkenstone)

Yes, I am an eternal slave of World of Warcraft, but that has nothing to do with my saying that David Arkenstone has, in my opinion, composed some of the most beautiful and compelling tavern music of our generation with his work in the World of Warcraft series. Most people will know him for his work on the Slaughterd Lamb tavern (and rightfully so, the soundtrack for that tavern was AWESOME), but I have listened to his work on all of the World of Warcraft taverns and they are all amazing in their own right. Each tavern's score has its own personality and unique feel, which in turn adds to the spirit of each tavern. Taverns aside, the music itself is simply beautiful. It will stir in you every emotion, from sadness (in a good way) to pure joy (try and not smile when listening to the Lion's Pride theme, I dare you!). Out of all of the soundtracks I have ever owned, the music of the World of Warcraft taverns by David Arkenstone is the one I have listened to and love the most. World of Warcraft: Taverns of Azeroth is an excellent compilation of all the main taverns and popular inns from World of Warcraft, so I highly recommend it.

HONORABLE MENTION:
While the above selections are my current all-time favorites, I can't go without mentioning these heavy hitters.

BIODOME - PAULY SHORE
THE WEDDING SINGER - VARIOUS
THE SOUNDS OF FROGS AND TOADS - VARIOUS (ANIMALS)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Spiderman ReVAMP

Ok, if you don't know what's happening to the Spiderman franchise, go find out. Now, for more news. They are getting the guy who played Edward in 'Twilight' to play Peter Parker. Sparkles is gonna gay up Spiderman, and that's hard to do to a spandex wearing arts major who spends none of his time with his super hot girlfriend and more time wrestling his enemies, almost none of which are female. Make that plank they used to represent Angsty Sue in 'Twilight' be Mary Jane and I will be forced to offer an official apology to Joel Schumacher for any joke I've made about 'Batman and Robin'.

See also: Spiderman and Superman show us what a superhero crossover might look like in a few years.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

F*** Twitter

I just had a day dream of fighting the black cloud from Kirby 64 using a squadron of raptors and a few federation ships.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010